Sex addiction and the consequences
 

I have been lurking on this forum for over 10 years and have always relied on this forum to satisfy all my sexual fantasies and desires. Visiting FLs, MLs, ONS with girls at siamdius - I tried most of it.

I got married 6 years ago and had to find a safer alternative to continue feeding my sexual compulsion. I started turning to sex chatting with random girls on WeChat, online live webcams and the occasional visiting MLs for handjobs.

I got caught twice by wife and at that point she has given me the ultimatum to stop or she will file for a divorce. Instead of looking for ways to amend my addict self, I started looking for ways to hide my traces so I can continue with my compulsion.

I never saw the need to seek help for my sexual compulsion, until today - caught for the third time, on the verge of a divorce, regretting why I did not seek help earlier.

As I am crying, separated from my wife and typing this post, I have come to terms to myself and acknowledge my sexual compulsion - but at what cost? If all of you are wondering if I went on a sex rampage to continue fulfilling my fantasies, no I didn’t. I am now seeking help from a counsellor and on my third session now, restarting my life again being sober.

The point is, if you have not been caught yet, I urge you to stop now. The consequences will be severe and it’s not worth the short pleasure you get from your compulsions.

I found this book “Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame” very helpful in my journey to recovery. If anyone is interested, you can google it and download for free on pdf drive.

I am sharing this because (1) it is part of my recovery exercise to journal stuff down and (2) I sincerely hope no one has to go through the same shit as I did. This addiction does nothing but leaves you feeling guilty, embarrassed and ashamed for hurting your partner and destroying a family that you have painstakingly built.

Re: Sex addiction and the consequences
 

It's good you're getting professional help. If you aren't getting the improvement you seek, I can recommend the therapist who helped me.

Re: Sex addiction and the consequences
 

Hope things start looking better for you bro.

If you consider it an addiction, I hope your wife will understand and stand by your to fight the addiction together with you instead of going through with the ultimatum.

Re: Sex addiction and the consequences
 

If you don't mind me asking, why did you get married to begin with if you weren't ready to leave behind this lifestyle? Was your wife aware of your lifestyle before your marriage?

Re: Sex addiction and the consequences
 

Every now and then we get these new "converts" coming and preaching about their new found (very new)"sobriety and trying now to convince all of us to confess our sins and beg for redemption. Interesting that OP has not yet eliminated is profile and access to a hooker site and continues to post here. It is just another excuse for him to log on to a place he knows he shouldnt. Im not sure if sex addiction is even a real thing, but lets say it is like alcoholism. Should a recovering alcoholic go into a bar and try to stop people from drinking? Or just stay out of those places to start with?

Re: Sex addiction and the consequences
 

These f0ck3rs r selectively helpless lol.

Re: Sex addiction and the consequences
 

Every Human has a RIGHT to his/her opinion, right or wrong.

What TS had done is ONLY to SHARE an insight, a view to others on his marriage life experiences, & should be encouraged than to be dismissed or tarred by those whom had been SEEMINGLY successful to be discreet, to have NO remorse, to live a lie by breaking SACRED marriage vows, than to face up to realities & painful CONSEQUENCIES, if not by SG laws but by civilization, which sadly, WILL come to light one day, as no secrets last forever...

Each Earthborn Human has the freedom of choice, but may they choose wisely. Free Will is a power & comes with RESPONSIBILITES to others sharing our journey of life & space, and is a born/gifted choice, but comes with consequences to oneself, to loved ones & even one's civilization. May each choose wisely.

Thank you for your post & sharing, brave Bro Pussalia. All the best to you.

Shed no tears anymore. No Human is perfect & we each have our flaws. We mere mortals can NEVER change the past, but we DO have the power to change the future. It lays within our WILL, mental strength & discipline, to ACKNOWLEDGE mistakes, to correct them so as to progress & evolve, if not for ourselves, but for those whom we love, not as a toy but a fellow Human to be a partner together in the journey of life, as no Human is born out of a vacuum or is a mechanical robot or flawed mortally created A.I software without any sense of reality - touch, smell, taste, hear & see, that we mortals are able to define everyday REALITIES.

Re: Sex addiction and the consequences
 

You probably need a better understanding of locking + encrypting your handphone and using secure apps that erases your footprints.

Btw, just saying. Tracking your wifey whereabouts helps in planning too.;)

In this era, only the most tech-savvy will live the longest. Technology empowers.

Only the foolish get caught.

Re: Sex addiction and the consequences
 

Can I ask you this question ? Will you always forgive your wife if she is a sex addict ? If she always engage in male gigolo services and hook up too ?

Re: Sex addiction and the consequences
 

Assuming you will not forgive if your partner cheats, but now the situation is you are the one that cheated. If your mentality is you will not forgive your partner, then you will just pack up and leave the relationship? Do not even try to seek forgiveness, work it out etc?

Re: Sex addiction and the consequences
 

Tracking wives also important. Now alot of women also cheat.

Re: Sex addiction and the consequences
 

Not sure if TS same as me. I got married on impulse thinking that I can be a good guy end up cannot and I screwed my life over. Now I go FL etc, but now I single. So now no cheating for my case.

Re: Sex addiction and the consequences
 

Bro it's a big move forward to come here and share your honest thought

Re: Sex addiction and the consequences
 

i think share here ok la. anonymous. nobody knows who you are. actually i think its a good place to speak out the problems you have anonymously.