There are many factors needed to make a marriage work out well. The traditional way being the husband works hard to bring the dough home and ensure that the family is well fed. The wife, on the other hand, takes good care of the children and ensure that the household is well taken care of. Such traditional setup will normally produce children who do well in school and have good characters. But when one of the traditional factors get shaken, are we still looking at the same result?
I can see many Singaporean husbands working hard outside but lack the basic understanding that `a roof over the head' is needed. Staying with parents will eventually create lots of friction between mother and wife and yourself. Instead of saving up for a flat, they will rather spend the money on holidays or let the VN wife bring the money back to VN village to build a house. If finally they manage to buy a flat after some years, it will only be a 3 room flat. Many are able to afford better lifestyles, but the burden of the viet relatives drain their resources.
More and more VN spouses are going out to work. They leave their children with their mother at home. Everyday Tieng Viet, hardly any mandarin nor English. Think about it, your MIL hardly know the requirements to raise a kid in the modern city. She only knows how to raise a kid, not educating them. That explains for a lot of `useless' kids in the village. Tieng Viet is totally useless in Singapore schools. That explains why majority of kids with viet mothers fare badly in school.
I used to think why Singaporeans look down on Singaporean man with Viet spouses. After some years, i understand why. If you you mix around with the same group all the time, you will not see the reasons as all `others' are doing the same. Look around, look at the average Singaporeans who are making lots of effort to educate their children. Even foreigners like PRC Chinese and Filipinos are doing well in Singapore schools.
I was at Jurong Point the other day and saw 2 viet spouses with their 2 kids and their mothers. They were speaking Tieng Viet damm loud, attracting lots of attention. The children, to my surprise, were speaking tieng viet fluently. Many do not understand, if both parents are vietnamese, then the children will be vietnamese. If father is Singaporean, then the kid is Singaporean. Marry a wife and lose your identity? Do something right for your children please. If you feel that your children can go back to VN in the future and do big business there, forget about it. There's no place to stand in the big cities for kids from the villages. Even in the villages, siblings will have taken up all the land and resources, leaving nothing for you from Singapore.
Educate your children to survive in Singapore. Give them good education and a `roof over their heads'. This is the basic we can do for them.
