[sammicheng1000]

Originally Posted by sadhubs

Seems like many people are facing this problem. And seems like being loving and communicating with the wife is the most advocated medicine.

I was there before. I was angry, hurt and frustrated. Then I read about this advice. I tried. Do more housework, being even more caring, talk more. It worked. For all of 3 months. Then the expectations increased. The low sex came back. Increased the caring etc at the expense of my own time. No listening to music, no reading a book so I can give more time to the wife. Worked again! And 2-3 months later, guess what?

I think it takes 2 hands to clap. And as men we have to be realistic about our wives. They are not sex machines, but neither are we love gurus. The sad thing is this "romance" idea that has gone into high drive. The social expectations of men and the fast judgement of men who don't get it from their wives. You are not caring enough for her. It's not always one party's fault, and there is no universal medicine for a recurring bad cough.

I have not strayed. Nor do I intend to. But all I can say is my resolve is not holding up very well as this drags on. Sometimes you get reduced to a beggar. You just have to take what comes when it comes. What dignity and love is that in a marriage?

Sometimes I can see she is trying and I feel bad. But when everything damn thing takes priority over you, clean the house, wash the clothes, pack the rooms, shop for this, fix that, someone's birthday party. We'll have it on Saturday night. And you know all too well anything can happen on Saturday night. Flu, tired, (heck even "forgot" has become an acceptable reason), someone's someone passed away. It gets very disheartening.

Trying to be a good husband. But it is not easy.

Sorry for ranting...

(no she is not cheating. she is just too busy cleaning house with me helping)

Hire part time maid from time to time.