Originally Posted by warbird
Another auspicious day!
At this time I like to post another piece by THE RS guru:
USING REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY TO WIN THE ONE YOU WANT
One young woman who I knew many years ago was casually dating a
young man who became very serious towards her and one night
started talking marriage. This shocked her because she had not had a
serious romantic thought towards him -- ever! She told him there was
no hope and that, in fact, that she was really crazy about another guy
entirely!
The hero of our story, though, the young man who was being rejected,
handled himself beautifully, however. He just listened to her very patiently (although disappointed, it must be admitted) and then
pointedly said to her, "Well, what would you like to do then?" And then
he supportively added, "Would you like to stop dating altogether?"
The question was so empathetically offered that she felt no threat
whatsoever to her position. She then responded, "Well, no I guess
there's no reason we can't still go out" As long as you understand, of
course, that there's no chance of this relationship ever getting serious
or going anywhere! He then sincerely told her that that would be fine.
But when she went home to her roommate (whom I also knew and
who related additional parts of this story to me), she was in a daze.
She actually seemed somewhat mesmerized by it all and, after
recounting the whole episode to her hearer, she suddenly heard
herself saying, "I can't believe it "he was so understanding" I wonder if
I'm making a big mistake here "I wonder if maybe I really should
marry him after all?"
As I say, that was only the beginning. The seeds had been planted
where none had been before. And shortly thereafter the happy couple
became engaged and, the last I was aware, had been happily married
for many years.
EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES
As you begin to make real progress towards winning the One You
Want, learn to accept that there will come out of nowhere some
attempt to end the relationship and get rid of you. It's common in the
development of a serious relationship.
The common attempts at justification for rejection commonly include
such excuses as "no chemistry", "not physically attracted", "too
different of lifestyles", "incompatible families", I'm not ready for a
family, and so forth. Sometimes the rejecting party will even resort to
self deprecation such as I'm mentally ill, I have serious psychological
hang-ups from my childhood, or whatever. But no matter how good
these sound, they are never the real reason. They are just excuses,
and all easily overcome if you understand the real root of the problem
and not what they say.
The real reason is simply because; up to this point in time you have
failed to establish the three psychological pillars of a romantic
relationship with them, which are: FRIENDSHIP, RESPECT, and
PASSION. In short, the person isn't head over heels in love with you,
and if they're going to stay with you forever and marry you, they want
to be!
That's only fair. They should be entitled to be crazy out of their head
for you if they're going to dedicate their life to you and, frankly, that's
your job to inspire those feelings, not theirs!
But if you will deal with their uneasiness in the manner we've
described in these pages, applying the tactics throughout
your relationship, you will find that no excuse in the world can
overcome your endeavors to win their heart and love. You will win the
One You Want!
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