Originally Posted by warbird
My pleasure.
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Good afternoon!
I hv been searching for mistresses on Chinese websites n hv found many chio SYTs, most of them non-WLs, who r willing n ready. Unfortunately, many of them r unwilling to come to SG, even though they r quite eager to be kept by me in Beijing or anywhere else in China.
I hv some reflections on my experience in BY-ing which I started exactly 2 yrs ago. My 1st BAO-ee was XW who had resisted my advances for over 8 months. My mistake? Being an ah pek, I thought I wasn't good enuff for her, a 20 yo SYT then. She left me twice...but she is back w/ me again. Now the table has turned. The reason? My attitude, or shall I say my subconscious mind, has changed radically. Now no gal is good enuff for me, regardless of how young n how chio she is. She can take it or leave it. Thanks largely to my meditation, self affirmations, self hypnosis n chanting, etc.
Now I hv a 老婆（XW ), 情妇（TC ), 女朋友 ( BB ) n 干女儿 ( CL )...n there r many more gals who hv agreed to be my BAO-ees, most of them in PRC. It may be coincidental that my current four gals r 168 in height. Fortuitously, the number 168 sounds like being very prosperous all the way down the road in Mandarin n Cantonese n some other dialects, hehehe.
I hv had more soul-searching dialogue w/ CL than w/ anyone else in my life. She is so much fun. Could she be my soul mate? She also has the smallest n tightest cunt, haha. She wants to be my lover for the next 10 yrs! My best fren has seen her photos n thinks she is definitely worth my effort. No, she is far from perfect: She has medium-sized bony frame n I hv failed to give her COS.
At this time, I like to share an email from a guru on the importance of high social value.
Hey,
Let's face it: women love guys with high status. They're suckers
for the alpha-male types that don't give a damn about what others
think of them. It's that "X-factor" that makes girls melt in their
seats and gets them all hot and bothered.
In PUA circles, players refer to this as social value, a commodity
worth GOLD in the field. It's this mysterious, seemingly
intangible quality that all AFCs strive to have, but end up
scratching their heads trying to chase after it.
But first, let's get a preliminary question out of the way...
WHY BOTHER WITH SOCIAL VALUE?
Well first of all, not having this is like going on a long drive
without passing by the gas station to fill up. In the same way,
going into the scene without a trace of status is pure SUICIDE.
Not only will you be stuck in uncharted territory, you'll be making
an ass of yourself in short order. You have to appreciate the fact
that humans, even during these modern times are still compelled, no
- HARDWIRED - to follow behavioral patterns encoded into our DNA
thousands of years ago.
In the olden times, women learned to align themselves with men who
are able protect and take care of them. If you couldn't hunt for
your daily meals or build that bonfire, then you're pretty much
useless.
Now, while those same exact traits might not apply to today's
standards, the same spirit of those desirable qualities lives on.
In present society, survival value have modern equivalents, such as
leading other guys, keeping bullies from beating up your brothers,
or being able to loan money to your broke friend.
In short, people may have evolved in many ways, but our underlying
social dynamics are still deeply rooted in the same logic that goes
way back. That simply means that women as a whole are driven to
seek men who are strong in some way, even if they aren't
necessarily looking for a long-term commitment.
As such, you damn well better have the social value that they want.
If not, you won't have a chance in winning over any of those
gorgeous women you seek to be with. You're off to the sidelines,
watching those high-value males sweep your dream girl off her feet.
But don't despair. Social value can be cultivated to your
advantage, so rest easy as I give you a run-through of the two most
effective ways to jumpstart your dating life.
#1: Lay off the validation
That's why experienced guys swear by a basic principle when it
comes to attracting women: don't kiss her ass.
Let's face it - while women can be wonderful creatures to be
around with, they have the equal potential for ego-beating if you
let them. This is especially true for high-value women who are
aware of their status.
They reassure themselves of their feminine power by making short
work of guys that try getting on their good side. These suckers
will do everything short of rolling over and playing dead.
It can get even worse for some who "reward" these clueless guys
with crumbs of attention and then ditching them afterwards.
Chances are, you've seen this happen - or heaven forbid - tried it
yourself. Here's a classic example...
Guy says hi to hot girl, guy buys her a drink, and they make some
petty chit-chat. Girl finishes her drink, politely excuses herself
and re-joins her friends to dissect her latest victim.
Let's not BS ourselves here. OF COURSE you like her, that's why
you're approaching her in the first place. But are you initiating
the interaction in a NEEDY or CREEPY way?
Once she knows that you're sucking up, it tells her that you're
selling yourself, and that gives her all the power in the world
over you.
A guy with social value never tries to prove his worth. In fact,
he knows that it's suicide to ask for her approval through drinks,
compliments and so on.
Look, you're more than welcome to do all that once she's fallen for
you, but dealing your best cards early on in the game will leave
you NO leverage to seal the deal.
#2: Playful, not pitiful!
That's why high-value guys hold back on the attention and
validation by reversing the traditional script. The usual pattern
is to prove yourself, so the smart PUA reverses this order.
How does this happen? They replace groveling with playful
flirting. When you flirt, you're telling them, "I'm here to have
fun and don't really care if you respond positively or not."
And you really shouldn't care. When you build up the interaction
into something you really have to succeed at, then it's important
to you.
When she senses that it's important to you, then you've already
blown the approach because you've just lowered your social value.
In fact, you can care so less to the point of making fun of her in
a seemingly off-hand (but not belittling) way. If you're in a club
and approach the girl who appears to be the most popular in the
area, say something like "What else do you have going aside from
your looks?"
Not only will you have her full attention, she'll unknowingly give
chase. You've now created an opportunity for a back and forth
exchange of verbal wordplay without lowering your social value.
So now she'll have to justify her own value by proving you wrong.
After all, you just demonstrated backbone by not placing importance
on the one iota of power she has over other guys.
Of course, the smart PUA won't take the bait and casually dismiss
her answers with a comment like, "Hmmm, really?", and then
launching into a prepared routine.
That's pretty damn cocky, right? You've just leveled the playing
field by subtly (well not really) convincing her to prove herself
to you, and not the other way around. She'll be thinking "Who does
this guy think he is? I'll show him."
Women absolutely LOVE it when a man can take her crap and give it
right back. That sense of cockiness keeps your dignity intact by
not having to use it as a bargaining chip in the game.
Be playful, but not insulting. Be feisty, but never play around
with the possibility of violence. The whole point is to get a
woman to play with you, not to crush her dignity or smack her
around.
Otherwise, mean-spirited insults or jokes about punching her will
raise that red flag and take you OUT of the game.
Get used to greeting everyone you run into throughout the day,
whether it's the guy who delivers your morning paper or the
striking receptionist at work. Work your way up by starting
conversations when the opportunity presents itself.
Try this for about a couple of weeks to numb you to the fear of
initiating a conversation. Once you're comfortable enough, you can
move to casually approaching women in particular.
One thing though - a good approach never seems premeditated nor
should it look like you're hovering about. Both of those things
are social value killers. The operative word here is "nonchalant",
and remember that when you're out on the field.
Don't think that you have to make her laugh or get her number right
then and there. All you need to do is to gradually learn how to
embed flirting in your conversations.
If you're thinking, "I HAVE to get this right!" you will have
already undermined your social worth and lead to failure.
Keep the play-by-play analysis on hold until AFTER the chit-chat is
done. Once the conversation is over, ask yourself:
"What should I have I said/done differently?"
"Did I convey enough social value?"
I know how paralyzing fear can be; however, the gradual process of
coming out of one's shell is a very effective strategy for shy guys
to meet women. Expect a lot of botched approaches so don't take it
personally as you learn from your mistakes.
Think of it as accumulating field experience which will
continuously refine and improve your game as you go along...............................
Let's chat again real soon.
All the best,
Mr. Guru
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