Originally Posted by warbird
Good morning!
Met RR for lunch the other day. She looked prettier in broad daylight w/ light make up than when she first sat w/ me at DC. I took her to Raffles Place to pick up her medical report which was all normal. She is not quite 24 as she was born in late 1987. She is very diligent in learning English as she hopes to apply to SMU. I'm looking for a place to keep her close to her school. I'll consummate the RS soon. She n LL (the Shanghainese virgin I had in May 2010) r the best educated n most intelligent gals among my mistresses.
XW n RR r the lo po type. But KK is the fiery, passionate n possessive type. She was very angry when she learned from a gal (whose BF apparently knows me) that 你名誉很坏, 每个月都包养好几个女孩子, 这是公开的秘密。。。of course I denied it n told her there was only one other gal XW whom I had told her before..
Let me digress.
IMHO, if ur wife/GF/mistress/er nai/BAO-ee/lo po doesn't want to fxk u more than u want to fxk her, either u hv done something wrong or r not giving her enough COS or she is in love w another man or fxking another man. You need to change n improve or dump her asap.
Let me share w/ u a useful email.
She's Lost Interest In Sex - What To Do About It
You want sex more often than she does...
She just doesn't seem as interested in sex as
you are...
She's not as sexual as she used to be...
She's hardly ever in the mood...
Needless to say I get emails like this a lot, so
it's time to send you a newsletter to solve the
issue for you once and for all.
So if this is a big issue in your life, and
your willing to to make some changes to turn it
around, then you're in the right place.
I found a good extreme case from a reader for us
to use as an example. If you "get" my reply to
this man, you will be able to solve this issue in
your own relationship as well.
***EMAIL FROM READER***
Dear Mr. Guru, I do enjoy your answers to readers
questions. I have another to throw at you after
reading your last answer session. I have M.S. and
I feel very inadequate in the bedroom (my problem
is mainly physical) and I have tried your remedies
mentioned in the last session. I am having problems
maintaining an erection while performing these
exercises you mentioned. Another problem is that
she does not accept my compliments or "all day
foreplay" even when this is done during times when
there is no possible way we could have a "sexual"
encounter. We have been married for 10 years and
I am only looking for satisfaction on the weekend
and I give "all week foreplay." I would feel good
about her just placing her hand on mine or on my
knee. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
One of your greatest fans, J.
>>>MY REPLY:
Hey man, I am going to be straight up with you
here-- your problem does have a solution, but it
ain't gonna be EASY...
Many, many men face the identical challenge.
Their wife begins to lose interest in sex, she
withdraws romantically, she just wants you to
get with the program and be a good partner in the
business of running your lives...
Most men just blame HER.
They say things like: She's less interested
in sex, so it must be that her libido is lower, or
she has lost interest because of stress or whatever.
It's funny how we never want to see it as "our
fault". This is a big challenge for any man...
And the MS is going to make it even more of
a challenge, NOT because of the way it affects
your strength and your physical ability to have
sex, but because of the way it is affecting your
relationship to your SELF and your confidence.
On the physical side, you can get prescriptions
from your doctor that will work very well to solve
it easily enough (or you could do the exercises in
my Command & Control program, which will probably
also help you substantially).
But let's be real -- The hard part is
the emotional issues of your wife pulling back
from physical intimacy with you.
Here's the very center of the issue between
you and your wife:
PEOPLE TREAT YOU EXACTLY THE WAY YOU
TRAIN THEM TO TREAT YOU
Women are massively turned on by "masculine
strength."
And since you have challenges with physical
strength, that means you must rely on the strong
masculine qualities of your PERSONALITY...
That means things like courage, aggression
when necessary, never accepting second class
treatment from anyone, being CALM AS ICE in
emotionally stressful situations, being a rock
when she is weak or cranky or tearful, yet
showing deep passion when appropriate...
And most powerfully of all: The willingness
to be vulnerable and open about what is true
for you. (In other words, the courage to
authentically be yourself in all situations)
Unfortunately, because of your illness, you
say you "feel very inadequate in the bedroom".
And what you need to know is...
It's that FEELING of inadequacy itself that is
keeping your wife from being turned on and wanting
sex.
Let me say that again--
The problem is NOT your physical inadequacy,
it is the FEELINGS you have about your physical
condition that is creating the problems.
Here's the proof:
I have a friend whose genetic disorder prevented
him from growing any taller than 3 feet, and has put
him in a wheelchair for life... but he behaves and
believes that he is a sexy bad-ass, and I see the
affect that he has on women...
In fact, that is the exact adjective that
I have heard many women use to describe him:
"sexy."
He recently married a gorgeous, smart, and
sassy woman who adores him, and while I wouldn't
want to repeat any confidential conversations,
I'm pretty sure most able bodied men would be pretty
jealous of his sex life.
Bottom line:
Confidence is sexy. Period. And a lack of
it is a big problem.
Here's what you MUST understand...
When you say that "I am only looking for
satisfaction on the weekend" and "I would feel
good about her just placing her hand on mine..."
...THAT is exactly what is CAUSING the problem!
You have trained her to think of you as a
second class citizen in your relationship... and
you tacitly agree with her about that.
You have conditioned her to think of you, not
as her lover, but as a man who is looking for her
occasional sympathy
You've probably heard the old John F. Kennedy
quote: "Once you say you're going to settle for
second, that's what happens to you in life."
There are dozens of quotes from successful
people just like that one.
That's because it's true.
It sounds like you feel that she should give
you this small amount of attention because she
should be "nice" to you-- but you don't want to
trouble her for more.
Maybe that's because you feel like you are
already asking much of her in living with a man
who has M.S. Obviously neither of you saw that
one coming... and let's be real here... I have no
idea how hard that must be, or how I would handle
it if I were in your situation.
I don't want to sound unsympathetic...
I'm not putting you down here. You are in
a situation that few men would be feeling heroic
about. It sucks. And I have no idea how I myself
would handle it.
So it seems to me there are a lot of complex
issues in your life and your relationship, and
I'm not going to try to answer all of them.
But consider for a moment that if you can
train your wife to treat you like a second class
citizen in your relationship, then it follows that
there must also be some possible way in which you
could have trained her to think of you as her
heroic and sexy love-god.
So while I can't talk intelligently about all
of your challenges with MS, I CAN tell you how
to get more sex in your relationship...
Limiting myself to only the question of "how
to improve your sex life," then the answer is:
You've got to reclaim your masculine power in the
relationship.
(To Be Continued)
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