Originally Posted by warbird
Good morning!
A reflection on my changing behaviour.
Several yrs ago, I was only doing STs. In May 2009, I started BY-ing, mostly short-term from 1-4 wks n the gals continued to work. BTW, my 1st few BY-ings didn't go well. Then I asked my new BAO-ees not to work. The RS was still quite brief, 1-3 months. In the last 2 yrs, I hv had longer-term RS, the longest is close to 2 yrs. Of course I still do occasional STs if a gal happens to be my type.
Why the change? A long-term exclusive RS w/ a chio gal of my type is more satisfying n leads to greater happiness. There r the added benefits of more intimacy, sexually n emotionally. Last but not least, it's much safer to do her raw.
The following article written by a mentor refers to non-WLs but the basic concept n rational r largely the same.
LOTS OF ONE NIGHT STANDS VS. ONE GREAT WOMAN
Hey Mr. Mentor, how's it going!
Just wanted to say, I checked over your site and I think it's
awesome what you are doing and teaching people! You have inspired
me to start deserving what I want also instead of settling for just
anyone!
I really don't have trouble meeting woman and going on dates,
it's just that I haven't found a lot of quality woman in this
world. I've been in lots of one-night stands with women and
have come to the realization that it doesn't bring happiness.
Only having a true connection with a woman leads to happiness.
My only question to you is how did you know the woman your married
to now was the right one for you? Out of all the women you dated,
how did you know she was the one? How did you know when to stop
dating is the question I'm trying to ask, what if you kept on
dating instead of stopping and met another high quality woman?
Anonymous
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Thanks for your kind words. I really enjoy hearing from people who
are inspired. I appreciate your story and your revelations.
As for one-night-stands, I've never understood it. I've always
thought that if a woman was worth being intimate with once, she
was worth more than that.
Besides, if I really liked her having sex only a single time
would be nothing short of frustrating.
Your "one question" really is a BIG one. Here's the simple answer:
I dated MANY women. And I dated as many of them at once as I
could handle.
As I did, I made very careful notes of what I liked and didn't
like, even going so far as to building a spreadsheet so as to rein
in my typically right-brained approach to "winging it" when it
comes to such things.
As I learned more about women and what they want from a man, and
as I began to DESERVE a great woman more and more, I raised the
proverbial bar as far as the quality of women in my life.
So yes, like I found out first-hand, guys like you and I run the
distinct risk of encountering the enviable problem of having
MORE THAN ONE high quality woman in the picture.
But having CONTROL over one's dating life is key in this situation.
This means making the choices that affect ONE'S OWN life. Being
able to attract and make my own decisions regarding the women in my
life, I placed myself into the position of being able to fine-tune
who it was I was looking for and I recognized her almost instantly.
This meant cutting ties with some great women, but I was also at a
point in my life where I was comfortable with the notion of being
READY for some stability around here.
Importantly, that decision was MY OWN choice--no pressure from
her--based on experience and being in a position of strength rather
than neediness when it came to my interactions with women in my
life.
There's so much more to this, though. Your attitude matters way
more than objective strategy, and certainly more than tips, tricks
and tactics.
You MUST respect and genuinely enjoy female-ness rather than
being sex-focused, which I've talked about quite a bit in this
space lately.
Otherwise, you will get what you deserve--which is MUCH LESS than
what cements a solid long-term future with a great woman. A man
who UNDERSTANDS and ACTUALLY LIKES women realizes the crucial
importance of masculinity and thereby draws women to him.
Women everywhere CRAVE a man who is masculine enough to awaken
their femininity. Get this principle down and begin having the
"enviable" problem cited above.
Now, being the kind of guy we're talking about here is actually not
so hard to pull off. For most guys, it's kind of like a "light
bulb" that goes off after struggling with the concepts for a brief
while.
It's kind of like when you learn how to ride a bike.
That said, winning a downhill mountain bike race, for example,
is a bit more advanced than simply getting rid of the training
wheels, if you get my drift.
How about a woman's perspective on all of this? Just a couple of
nights ago you wouldn't have believed the quality of our waitress
at dinner who announced to us that she was "dateless".
Although she was beginning to doubt herself, the only difference
between her and her friends was that she refused to settle for a
moron.
Good for her. She shouldn't settle for anyone less than who she
deserves any more than you or I should.
My GF and I both agreed that she should take great pride in her
pickiness instead of doubting it and she will begin to see the
men she deserves come looking for her. These men, by the way,
happen to be guys like YOU.
Did I mention that this 21 year old sweetheart with big brown
eyes and a priceless smile was DATELESS?
There ARE NOT ENOUGH great men to go around. Do your part to
change that...and win. It's really that simple.
Be Good,
Mr. Mentor
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