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Originally Posted by benjm85
Bro thank you for your sharing. Indeed, my girl is also in her early 30s and has mentioned many time before that she is no longer young and is looking for marriage, and thats the main issue as I am not able to marry her as I am not planning to divorce my wife.
To be honest, looking at where our relationship has progressed, I don’t know how to break the news to her that I am married with kids. It would be too painful for her and me…i do love her alot but i guess at the wrong place and time..
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Depending on what is common and acceptable in your girl's culture, your situation may not be as bad as what you initially think.
in Vietnam it is relatively common for a woman to bring up kids on her own, with help from just her side of the family. I am never very sure why Viet guys are so deadbeat and are generally fuckboys - all they want is a cum dump but they certainly do not tend stick around for the child-rearing responsibility. As such, Viet ladies - especially those who work nightlife, are realistic about what they possibly can get. Their main concern, I think, are more around your level of honesty and (equally important) your ability to provide for her future. To a Viet lady who is already on the wrong side of 30, your marital status is less of a concern. Your character and your ability to provide is way more important. It is relatively common for Viet ladies to "snatch" someone's boyfriend or husband, so much so that in the (Southern) Viet slang there is a term for it - a "green tea girl"
My ex XS was from a province in Central China, and she has the classic China Chinese expectations of being able to marry well, even though she has been fucked by at least 5000 guys before while she was an ML here (she hit the 5000 Friends limit in Wechat in her work account). At the time she got pregnant with my kid she was in her late 20s, and she clearly had expectations of being able to marry well and marry a single eligible guy. Years later, and now on the wrong side of 30 and after being fucked by a couple of thousand guys more, I wonder if she will ever settle down.
I wish her the best in life, however unlikely that may be.
I think deep inside your gal probably know your marital status, bro. I wouldn't even be very surprised, if she has ever gotten someone to check your NRIC number in the ROM database. Lay out your cards, and let her know what you want and what you can offer her. Ladies that age, if she's Vietnamese, understand that she is no longer young and competitive and her best days of selling pussy and companionship for a living are probably well behind her. Ask her about her expectations, and you may be surprised at her final answer.
Even if things do not work out between the two of you, she will remember you as someone kind who was honest with her and did not want her to waste her fast-fading youth.
Personally, I think wasting a girl's valuable youth is a crime. When I bring up the marriage topic with my gf, I understand that I may also find that I cannot live up to her marriage expectations and in that scenario, it would be best that we go separate ways.
I have seen several instances, when guys go into relationships not fully being honest and ending up with unmet expectations, whether on the financial or on the character/behaviour end. We are not talking Hermes or LV bags, but basic expenses like childcare and household expenses, and basic characteristics like trust and honesty.
Wish you all the best.