Life of an expat
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Dear readers, last week, we mentioned that an expat should learn about the new place that he or she will settle in for a certain time in order to make their life there more comfortable.
Brett Davis, chief editor at Asia Life, English-language publication reflecting a contemporary Vietnam, wrote that:
“It takes time to unlearn old behaviors and learn new, more effective ones. Early in that arc of experience, those difficulties in adjusting can manifest themselves in feelings of frustration or anger at your surrounds. Most expatriates would be able to relate to this feeling at some stage in their time here. We have all had ‘bad Vietnam’ days.”
Frustrated because your colleagues do not understand you? Angry as it takes months to get your documents done? Irritated because you can’t find the foods you love back home? Tell you, it’s normal and most of people living overseas have experienced the same thing. It’s not only Vietnam but in any country, you will find something to compare and complain since “things here are not the same like they are back home”.
In 1955, Lysgaard developed a theory called the U-shaped cure of culture shock. A person who resides temporary in a place, known as a sojourner, often goes through three phrases: honeymoon phrase (remember how excited you were before coming to Vietnam?), crisis phrase (when things do not turn out as you had expected and you become homesick) and finally recovery phrase (when you regard ‘bad Vietnam days’ a part of your life here).
To overcome your crisis phrase, get out of your bubble and merge with locals, join their activities, learn their language. You’ll see more of the bright side of the country.
Liz Covington, one of many expats in Vietnam has shared her story of learning Vietnamese language, which makes it easier for her to mix up with locals:
“Nevertheless, if you want to practice Vietnamese with locals, they are happy to help you. I myself still find it amazing when I think about an intimate conversation I had with a bulb seller though 20 minutes earlier we had been strangers. On discovering that I could speak Vietnamese, she confessed many things to me as if we were old friends. Another time, when I was shopping for coats, I got a discount because I bargained in Vietnamese.”
This is a real example showing that when you show your will and open up your heart, people, despite different backgrounds and cultures, will do the same in return. Liz has chosen to volunteer in an English club and help young locals practice their second language as a way to contribute something to the country she loves.
Also a Vietnamese learner, Eric Burdette talked about the confusion of the ways of addressing people in Vietnam:
“Vietnamese grammar, at least in the simple form that I use, is pretty straightforward to a native English-speaker. And after a bit of struggling and concentration, I got the tones down pretty well. But xưng hô still manages to baffle me.”
He recalled calling a friend chu (uncle) instead of anh (elder brother) and get him angry. He was also confused about addressing his in-laws and even his wife. However, Eric has found a way to get by:
“If things start getting confusing and you don’t know how to address someone else or refer to yourself, just start using given names. It seems to work and be grammatically correct, and I’m sure there is a special term to address it by.”
As we have said, it’s hard to be an expat, especially in Vietnam. Sharing your stories, either funny moments or sad times with others will help you move on quicker. And this column, City Diary, is a channel for you to do that. When you experience a bad Vietnam day or a very great Vietnam day and feel like sharing, you know there’s an email address dedicated to you:
[email protected].
Have a nice weekend!