Quote:
Originally Posted by rix6669
We have decided to proceed to divorce.
8yrs marriage, 1 new kid.
Hdb 90% paid by me.
Indirect contribution such as housework and meals, fetching wife( in the past when she work) about 30-40%.
We have a kid less than a year old.
She stopped work right after pregnancy.
But she should be able to get job with $3-4k salary.
Due to communication breakdown and her constant emotional abuse, we have decided to divorce.
Flat is 70% paid. She contributed 50k initially, everything else I'm paying, instalment, rest of the downpayment.
My concern is how will we split the asset? As I've been trying to clear off the housing loan within shorter loan tenure.
What maintenance fee to expect for kid n spouse?
How do I move on to save up and buy a flat for myself if asset and maintenance fee is high?
Whats your experience financially for those who went through divorce? How long it takes to stand back up? It just seems tough financially. (Main concern)
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I didn't see your thread rix6669, but since you tracked me down and dropped me a PM for my lawyer's contact, I will reply a bit here.
First of all if you read anyone using the word 'alimony', he (or she) probably is neither a lawyer nor has been through a divorce in Singapore, so what he said is probably hearsay, so just take it with a pinch of salt.
The proper term used here is 'maintenance' (as in you need to maintain the person).
I will try to repeat what my lawyer told me (from what I can recall), anything more, you should sound it out from your own lawyer.
There are 4 things to divorce, 1st is the dissolve of the marriage, 2nd care and control of your child, 3rd is the division of your matrimonial assets, 4th is maintenance
Since both your wife and you want to divorce then 1st part is settled.
2nd part is what you need to consider hard, is your child better off with his mother or you. Custody no need to consider, always jointed unless you give it up, or the court deemed you not fit to have it. Care & Control generally means (among other things) how much time the child spends with each parent.
3rd part involve in proofing the asset is matrimonial or not, then come the argument who is entitled how much. How to split is depending on how much each party contribute to the marriage.
For example in my case, I contributed to about 80% of the flat (including initial payment, instalments etc). My ex-wife just contributed to the initial payment (but not instalments even though she was working).
So when splitting, I finally got closed to 70% share of the house, my ex-wife then took up a loan and bought over my share.
Luckily the value of the house then has risen and my 70% was enough to repaid CPF (including accrued interest) and left me with a bit of cash.
That was my bottom line when I negotiated (through my lawyer) over the share quantum.
4th part, the considerations are, for child maintenance, no matter what both parents are to contribute to the upbringing of the child, how much sometimes depends on how much time the child spends with each parent. Some people will fix an amount (but as the child grows up then both parties will again have to argue over the amount). In my case, my lawyer advised for expenses to be shared proportionally, be it education, medical etc. This is cheaper because my ex-wife and me can sort it out without the need for lawyers.
Spousal maintenance for my case is nil, because my ex-wife never stop working throughout the marriage, in fact she gotten career progression.
Also she was not close to retirement at all.
I am not so highly paid such that I can afford for her to stop work after marrying (this is important too).
Ultimately my lawyer said, the law is fair, the divorce is not for my ex-wife to make a windfall.
The only thing my lawyer asked me to consider was, my ex-wife may ask for help her to pay rental for a room/place so that my child have a place to stay whenever they are together. This was because my ex-wife's parents were staying with her brother then (the parents sold their place to help to brother to fund his Condo purchase). Under such circumstances the judge may grant it to her.
These are what my lawyer told me during our (many) consultant sessions. I am glad that other samsters have started to remind you to look for a good lawyer. Previously, when we have threads like these everyone started to give their views or experiences. The worst were the views; a lot of times they are by samsters who definitely are not lawyers nor have they been through divorce(s).
I hope these are some food for thought (for you), you need to hang in there, it is a mental challenge, you need to be strong.
