OPP

[UncleHasBeen]

I am 52 this year.
Never use dating app or chats for such per se.
But i did signed up for these activities over the years.
Before and after i got married. Still keeping to these activities.

Part interest and part 'looking around'.
There were quite a lot more than these.
These are the more memorable ones with the highest hits rate.
I have never looked back since, good ole times.
My FWB/OPP are from here. The memorable ones.

Yachting club.
(Met a model, dated twice then crashed. Had a light kiss on the lips, that was it)

Baking workshops.
(Plenty of flirts but not to my liking unfortunately)

Walking tours.
(Had been to 3 tours so far and one hit for each one. Only lasted 3 months about. Causal flings and sex. Easy come and easy go)

Dance classes.
(This is my fave and I highly recommend this. This is my mecca for pussies for all races, nationalities and age groups. Had 6 flings to date and the best part, they were causal about it. Nice!)

Toastmasters course.
(One hit and we are still together since 2016 )

Alliance Française de Singapour.
(Had 2 flings lasted for 4 months each.)

Dive courses. Follow by dive trips.
(Had 4 flings each lasted 3 months while one is still ongoing since 2018. This one is a keeper )

Cooking classes.
(Attended 2 different course. Had 5 flings from them, lasted 2 months each there about. Met a Russian lady, it was a whirlwind sex until her husband's work got the sack and left. We were fucking hard for a good 2.5 months on every other day)

Facebook home cooked food group
(This is a constant rich ground for lonely pussies. I had at least 6 flings from there and still on holding onto 1 since 2017. Keeper this one )

Facebook Foodie group
(Another very good source. Had 2 flings from there and one lasted 1.5 years because her children found out about us )

Overseas skydiving trip
(Met one of my fave FB. Still together since 2019, definitely keeper )

Mountain climbing trip
(Went Lombok. There I didn’t do any hookup as I wasn’t feeling too great. Probably it was the altitude, but it was fun. Our group’s neighbouring tent, a group of Japanese women were fucking an Indonesian porter from the group)

Running groups
(Joined 2 groups. Managed to grab a SYT who was 22 years old while I was 41 then. Lasted 5 months)

Local animal shelter volunteer program
(The moment I joined I met one and she is one of my fave FB. Started since 2017 and she is 15 years younger than me. She gave birth last year and we ended it in a nice way)

[alea]

Originally Posted by UncleHasBeen

I am assuming all women in this context would view me as someone lusting after their bodies.
Totally acceptable and i dont deny.
Which is why i need to wine and dine them.
On one hand to show them that besides having an intimate relationship with me, there might be other perks.
For this, my maturity needs to take one for me.
Imagine if i come across as someone young dumb full of cum, my chances of taking them along for the ride is much lowered.

I have been doing for this for a long time, before and now being married.
Very few women would want me for sex. As of now, i only met about 7.
But that is 7 out of at least 30 successful FWB/OPP.

So the majority are attracted to me simply because of my perceived charm.
Not my looks which i dont have or my bod.
My perceived charm. What they think and make of it.

They think they are getting into a relationship of intimacy, a little romance and rendezvous. Hide and seek, covering trails.
Then sex, that would be the bonus and last perk that they would offer.
Which means only if i can offer all the above or they think i can offer all the above then the thighs are spread.

I have high numbers of FWB/OPP not because i am attractive, which i am not.
I got those numbers because i try and try. Rejection to be me is good because at least i know what she does not want and where i could have presented better.

Reputation? This helps me.
Words get spread around within that specific circle.
Like dance classes, baking workshops or dive classes.
Such reputation will tickles those curious and daring ones

Words wont get out, how could they?
Remember i wine and dine first.
I watch them for specific signals, body language and eye contact.
And i never ask first. I make the first move but i never ask first.
The willing pussies always ask first. I never ask.

Among the benefits that they perceive to be getting from you, I notice you mentioned “wine and dine” frequently. Does it mean at relatively high end places?

[UncleHasBeen]

Originally Posted by alea

Among the benefits that they perceive to be getting from you, I notice you mentioned “wine and dine” frequently. Does it mean at relatively high end places?

No, not at all.
I keep using this phrase 'wine and dine' is to reiterate my process of going after my candidates for FWB/OPP.

Unlike those who goes on app or other social means, my method requires the wine and dine process.
It is not an event but a process.
A process of slowly communicating with your interest and warm up together to the notion of being together.
That is all.

There a few instances all it took was one dinner, followed by a movie but only 20 mins of it and she started her move on me.
That was it. As easy as that.

Some requires a fair bit of patience.
Grab a bite or drinks after dance classes week after week.
Then a date and after that, a date on a weekend in a hotel.

But for me, more than 50% of the time is a simple meal or drinks.
Then follow by text. Just like a normal courtship except without the BS.
The content of our talks and text are mostly about how we feel about our own relationship. Something like a rant.
I just listen and dont reveal much about mine. There is no time too.
The ladies will take up most of the air time

It is through these 'wine and dine', we can tell if we are ready for a FWB/OPP relationship.

[crazymani]

So if the ladies know that you are married and still agree to wine and dine w you. It is a sign that they somewhat open to have a relationship? Is that right?

Would there be cases where they are interested in the wine and dine and just want to be normal friends? How do you managed these relationship then? Cos if you stop giving them attention then is kinda obvious. Would they like go around and bad-mouth you or something?

[justin69]

When a girl know you are married, likely the chance is gone, unless she is willing too, right?

[UncleHasBeen]

Originally Posted by crazymani

So if the ladies know that you are married and still agree to wine and dine w you. It is a sign that they somewhat open to have a relationship? Is that right?

Would there be cases where they are interested in the wine and dine and just want to be normal friends? How do you managed these relationship then? Cos if you stop giving them attention then is kinda obvious. Would they like go around and bad-mouth you or something?

When they agree to have drinks, meal or just hang out with me knowing i am married doesnt mean anything.
Simply means they dont mind hanging out with me that is all.
No need to over think on this part.

It is the content of our conversation that would determine if she is open to such a relationship.
Which is why the importance of wine and dine.

Yes i have plenty of girl friends in this context.
Just purely hanging out because there wasnt any more signals for me to go further.
But if the chemistry clicks, i can remain friendly with them.

I have my own life. Even if they were to be my FWB/OPP, they dont take up 24/7 of my life.
They are still a side-dish, dessert.
So i dont need to give them the full attention and they dont need it too.
They cant bad mouth me too because they need to have proof.

Going for the right through the filtering process of wine and dine is important.
All the initial risk management assessment starts from there

[UncleHasBeen]

Originally Posted by justin69

When a girl know you are married, likely the chance is gone, unless she is willing too, right?

I have a lot of girl friends, know i am married but we remain friends.
Flirting, touching a little and mostly just teasing.
The younger ones are like this.
Some will evolve into sex partners but only for a very short while.

The more mature ones if they are willing, these are the ones will stay longer in a FWB/OPP relationship.
These are also the ones that want to have more options.
These are the ones that can end their marriage if they want to.

The younger women, just looking for thrills.
The older women, looking for options for a longer term and some times a new beginning.

This is my experience.

[Dignified69]

Salute to you UncleHasbeen. You are only an uncle in years and if one thinks a bit, will realise that you are no uncle at all. You can give many non-uncles more than a run for their money.

I suspect you have a great pair of ears and a very good understanding of the human condition. Otherwise you would be cheonging at Geylang like the rest of us.

But the dangers of what you do are the development of feelings in the other party. Logically this should not be the case as you are a declared man of the ring, but then logic isn't the only thing in this world.

Salute to you, though. After 1.5 decades of cheonging I would be so much happier to have a FB or FWB. But don't have the balls to take the risks. Haiz..

[UncleHasBeen]

Originally Posted by Dignified69

Salute to you UncleHasbeen. You are only an uncle in years and if one thinks a bit, will realise that you are no uncle at all. You can give many non-uncles more than a run for their money.

I suspect you have a great pair of ears and a very good understanding of the human condition. Otherwise you would be cheonging at Geylang like the rest of us.

But the dangers of what you do are the development of feelings in the other party. Logically this should not be the case as you are a declared man of the ring, but then logic isn't the only thing in this world.

Salute to you, though. After 1.5 decades of cheonging I would be so much happier to have a FB or FWB. But don't have the balls to take the risks. Haiz..

Hey man thanks for the compliment.
U nailed the part on good listening skills and understanding.
This is exactly what most women want from their men and men in general.
I only discovered this in my late 20's. Then i develop this skill.
Slowly and surely i learn to be more patient and be a better listener.

There will be feelings. Especially if u spend enough time with someone u are attracted to with intimacy.
No one can escape that. But at the end of the day, i always remind myself what are my most valuable things.
And am i willing to trade all that for one person i just knew.

Just remind yourself that when your FWB/OPP ended things with u.
It is perfectly normal to feel sad but dont throw everything away because to your FWB/OPP, u are also just a FWB/OPP to them.
Yes there are beautiful endings too i know but i dont need those.
I am very happy with my life and all these peripheral happenings

There are risks in having FWB/OPP.
But this can be avoided if u go in with your head first and not the other.

[justin69]

Why this thread suddenly stopped?

Need UncleHasBeen sharing of his experience. 🙏

[UncleHasBeen]

This is how a flirt in the public could start.
The blocked out blue boxes are my comments.
Red is another lady member.

We are in the same FB group for photography.
We were talking about finding a good spot for star-gazing shoot.
So i started to comment on a good spot for a date night instead.
And she commented.
Then that was how the flirt started. She is already attached.
Get what she was saying..... dessert

[geckoSG]

Agree. It is the art of flirting that lands you with OPP.

Had my fair share also, slowly friendship first and all else is history.
Treat them well as friend importantly and you will flourish with long term partners.

[UncleHasBeen]

Yes that is why i love and only do my 'hunting' in such a setting.
Not through social apps.
Though my hit rate is not high but the quality of OPP/FWB relationship, is very high.

[crazymani]

Originally Posted by UncleHasBeen

Yes that is why i love and only do my 'hunting' in such a setting.
Not through social apps.
Though my hit rate is not high but the quality of OPP/FWB relationship, is very high.

What's your hit rate roughly? And also when and what do you considered a rejection? After the rejection, does it affect your interaction with them later?

Do you need to spend special days (birthday or valentine's day) with your opp or buy presents for them?

[bigmannow]

Originally Posted by UncleHasBeen

And i never ask first. I make the first move but i never ask first.:

What first move do you usually make ?