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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #1  
Old 19-07-2022, 06:17 PM
Kruzer0102 Kruzer0102 is offline
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advice for relationship

Actually i have been wonderin if nw its the best timing for me to look for an relationship (Y2) at uni rn.. Last time used to not be thinking about getting into a relationship, its jus nwadays like nearly everyone ard me is happily attached, getting married soon or maybe having kids.

For some reason abit hard for find at the sch, since all the ones i knew at sch we just couldnt make it. I kinda worried after moving onto the workforce it gets worse since yr opportunity to meet mre girls will eventually stay stagnant. Some small background abt myself, i started uni 2 yrs later than my female peers (so 2yrs + 2yrs (NS) (total: 4yrs)). So highly all the females ard my age are already working and do those xmm in Y3 poly will consider dating others that are way older than them? I knw some bros might say possible (but i think its nt a ONS thing, different gen thinks alot differently frm other) Also dw end up unsuccessful marriage in future cuz of anyhw find 1 for the sake of it.

Tried dating apps aimlessly w/o what i want initially (gt tempted by all the bros here by hw easy to get all the fwbs), but actually nt so easy get fwb also.. Most of my matches are employed and even if they are student, i think they see age+4 or student abit turn off...ya i m f2p, definitely cant compete with those p2w ppl that has big cars or bigger swiping powers on the play field (i think most girls on dating apps do filter for bros with $$$(i also tried seeking advices to alot bros here, majority keep saying is their talking skills, no need good body+face+rich. But at end of the day i think is still money that closes the deal) i consider myself average looking and good body. But usually the ones that got matched with me are the quite horrible ones, like all the bros buyao 1. (i also deep down dw cheat their feelings). So after 2 weeks back in dating apps, i jus realize that i jus want a kinky or naughty gf nt a fwb. Maybe i havent meet a decent looking fwb in my life yet.

Sorry to make u guys read my whole rant. So where did you guys found yr gf/bfs? Sch/work/datingapps/events? Should i be in the stage to find now or should i wait till i started working again? Need fellow samsters/samstress to advice

Last edited by Kruzer0102; 19-07-2022 at 08:15 PM.
  #2  
Old 19-07-2022, 08:24 PM
pearlnjewel pearlnjewel is offline
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Re: advice for relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kruzer0102 View Post
Actually i have been wonderin if nw its the best timing for me to look for an relationship (Y2) at uni rn.. Last time used to not be thinking about getting into a relationship, its jus nwadays like nearly everyone ard me is happily attached, getting married soon or maybe having kids.

For some reason abit hard for find at the sch, since all the ones i knew at sch we just couldnt make it. I kinda worried after moving onto the workforce it gets worse since yr opportunity to meet mre girls will eventually stay stagnant. Some small background abt myself, i started uni 2 yrs later than my female peers (so 2yrs + 2yrs (NS) (total: 4yrs)). So highly all the females ard my age are already working and do those xmm in Y3 poly will consider dating others that are way older than them? I knw some bros might say possible (but i think its nt a ONS thing, different gen thinks alot differently frm other) Also dw end up unsuccessful marriage in future cuz of anyhw find 1 for the sake of it.

Tried dating apps aimlessly w/o what i want initially (gt tempted by all the bros here by hw easy to get all the fwbs), but actually nt so easy get fwb also.. Most of my matches are employed and even if they are student, i think they see age+4 or student abit turn off...ya i m f2p, definitely cant compete with those p2w ppl that has big cars or bigger swiping powers on the play field (i think most girls on dating apps do filter for bros with $$$(i also tried seeking advices to alot bros here, majority keep saying is their talking skills, no need good body+face+rich. But at end of the day i think is still money that closes the deal) i consider myself average looking and good body. But usually the ones that got matched with me are the quite horrible ones, like all the bros buyao 1. (i also deep down dw cheat their feelings). So after 2 weeks back in dating apps, i jus realize that i jus want a kinky or naughty gf nt a fwb. Maybe i havent meet a decent looking fwb in my life yet.

Sorry to make u guys read my whole rant. So where did you guys found yr gf/bfs? Sch/work/datingapps/events? Should i be in the stage to find now or should i wait till i started working again? Need fellow samsters/samstress to advice

There is no fix formula to getting girl. Money also won't guarantee a girlfriend. I have been thinking about this same question for more than a decade and still single.

Think the key to get a gf is you have to really want to have a gf. I actually tried to ask girls out i like in my 20s like colleagues etc but she ignore my message and ghost me. THen i and another colleague was on good talking term and i think she liked me but i never pursue so the trick is probably not all girls will like you.

Relationship doesnt come so easy for some people. You should try to find now in uni.

Don't have high expectation but you can still aim pretty girls and try maybe you get lucky.

Dating app don't expect much, an advice from a female perspective i gotten.

Do things you like and don't expect to meet girls. Meet girls liao don't expect to hook up. If want fuck go find FL to release your tension.

Have a goal and continuously work towards it. Don't keep think of girls. One day maybe you will get lucky.

Last edited by pearlnjewel; 19-07-2022 at 08:44 PM.
  #3  
Old 19-07-2022, 08:39 PM
Kruzer0102 Kruzer0102 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pearlnjewel View Post
There is no fix formula to getting girl. Money also won't guarantee a girlfriend. I have been thinking about this same question for more than a decade and still single.

Think the key to get a gf is you have to really want to have a gf. I actually tried to ask girls out i like in my 20s like colleagues etc but she ignore my message and ghost me. THen i and another colleague was on good talking term and i think she liked me so the trick is probably not all girls will like you.

I also see short and thin guys holding hand with not bad looking girl. Maybe he rich or clever.

SO i am very confuse also until 30s liao i still have not figure out why these guys so lucky despite being small size, maybe some no money. Maybe they good at other things?

These days i just feel its so much effort to maintain a relationship with gf as i am busy with other stuff. Never really make effort to talk to girls or jio girls out for meal. If i want sex i can go pay and save time.

Relationship just doesnt come so easy for some people.
Have to agree with it. Actually had a leisure chat with a relatively chio girl on tinder in her 20s what are her requirements for guys she go for, "must can vibe lor" i think being the same Gen has a higher chance bah. Else probably the longest could go is 1 night - 1 month relationship. Yeah finding a good relationship doesnt come easy for some people

Trying to find alternative apart from uni since like my cohort like no mre le ;( Other cohort from other degree programmes abit hard to reach out since no connection, ya trying to find from sch events, so far no luck either.

Maybe too long being single while my entire clique is attached bah

Mind sharing the female's perspective too? Would be good additional knowledge

Last edited by Kruzer0102; 19-07-2022 at 08:52 PM.
  #4  
Old 19-07-2022, 08:52 PM
pearlnjewel pearlnjewel is offline
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Re: advice for relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kruzer0102 View Post
Have to agree with it. Actually had a leisure chat with a relatively chio girl on tinder in her 20s what are her requirements for guys she go for, "must can vibe lor" i think being the same Gen has a higher chance bah. Else probably the longest could go is 1 night - 1 month relationship. Yeah finding a good relationship doesnt come easy for some people

Trying to find alternative apart from uni since like my cohort like no mre le ;( Other cohort from other degree programmes abit hard to reach out since no connection, ya trying to find from sch events, so far no luck either.
Lol you don't need to stick to school. If not your tension there abit difficult to meet girls also.

GO do part time job, earn the money and go craxzy about the money and get the girl thing out of your mind. Think about buying a house, a car how much you need to save. Think about how to make money. Have a goal. Don't think about girl. Want girl go pcc.

When you stop needing girl your life will be so much better less trouble in your mind.

Go do other things now, join a class, dance, fight, cook, exercise, part time job or any of your hobbies that you engross in.
  #5  
Old 19-07-2022, 08:54 PM
pearlnjewel pearlnjewel is offline
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Re: advice for relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kruzer0102 View Post
Have to agree with it. Actually had a leisure chat with a relatively chio girl on tinder in her 20s what are her requirements for guys she go for, "must can vibe lor" i think being the same Gen has a higher chance bah. Else probably the longest could go is 1 night - 1 month relationship. Yeah finding a good relationship doesnt come easy for some people

Trying to find alternative apart from uni since like my cohort like no mre le ;( Other cohort from other degree programmes abit hard to reach out since no connection, ya trying to find from sch events, so far no luck either.

Maybe too long being single while my entire clique is attached bah

Mind sharing the female's perspective too? Would be good additional knowledge
Your long is not as long as other bros 30s 40s 50s never dated. YOu are not alone don't worry.

You can try to bring back the focus on yourself and not get distracted or mind boggled by couples. I know that feel and its until when i in 30s then i finally can let go much of that jealous feeling. Focus on yourself is key, others have no effect on you

THe female perspective i gotten is that don't rely on dating app.
  #6  
Old 19-07-2022, 09:08 PM
Kruzer0102 Kruzer0102 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pearlnjewel View Post
Lol you don't need to stick to school. If not your tension there abit difficult to meet girls also.

GO do part time job, earn the money and go craxzy about the money and get the girl thing out of your mind. Think about buying a house, a car how much you need to save. Think about how to make money. Have a goal. Don't think about girl. Want girl go pcc.

When you stop needing girl your life will be so much better less trouble in your mind.

Go do other things now, join a class, dance, fight, cook, exercise, part time job or any of your hobbies that you engross in.
You are right that shuld focus on my goals... maybe its jus unfortunate that i nvr manage to meet 1 in poly/uni
  #7  
Old 19-07-2022, 09:09 PM
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Willamshakspear Willamshakspear is offline
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Re: advice for relationship

It is often difficult to differentiate between love & lust, at any age. But both are only distractions to one's life if one refuses to acknowledge the differences.

If you are at Uni, it would be best to FOCUS on your studies, give 101% effort, get the grades you want. After that, life would be easier for you, when you tamper expectations to wiser levels. The grass always seem greener on the other side, when you see your Uni friends hook up, but you will never see the heartaches, sacrifices & distractions which they will never reveal to you, with some even either going nuts or dropping out of even life. Thus FOCUS on your studies for now, do not be distracted, even as normal hormones rages daily. Develop mental strength instead, as you still will have a long life ahead.

Our females cannot be blamed for being materialistic. Finances are a means to security in life, not just mere words, unlike men in our male dominated societies worldwide. Her looks will be gone when she reaches 40-50yrs old, & if she is not financially strong, she will have to pick card-boxes for a living, unlike men whom are in the 70s with just a few dollars will be able to get a syt.

At the Uni, most relationships are only mere friends. She is intelligent enough to choose the right qualitied man for herself, & it will be someone older & earning a living far more than a mere grad whom is dependent on parents finances. She will also know most grads come from Elite schools, those whom are poor will be leaders of Industry & Politics, or are scions from rich families, & will make her choice accordingly.

Most grads earn a starting pay of between $3,000 to $4,000/mth. That's more than what most young citizens will earn & will take years to reach that level unless they come from rich parents or Uni of Spore Streets. With such salary, you will be able to find any female companion, even kinky ones so long as you don't lose your mind to build up your career & earnings for a comfortable future.

Again, once you start work, the grass will always seem greener on the other side, with many youngsters owning cars, bragging about their lifestyles but the reality that you dont see is that every sucker is born by the minute. Just go to any pub or ktv lounge, & you will see it is different guys & not the same guy that you envied. He would had indebted himself, had his car towed away & eating maggi mee every day after foolishly throwing his money away.

The formula to be rich is to SAVE money and NOT throwing money away. For every dollar you need to spend, you have to ensure you get $3 in return. Anything that does not give you such returns, you best stop & assess the situation before spending hundreds or thousands to later regret.

Thus, i reiterate - FOCUS on your studies for now & get the grades you seek for & do not be DISTRACTED by love & lust which you are not ready to understand yet. It will come naturally when you start to mix around in work life & hobbies & see its realities, & then you can make an informed decision in life for a true companion that will last till you leave Earth, and to eternity, held in memory by those you beget & whom loved you.
  #8  
Old 19-07-2022, 09:13 PM
pearlnjewel pearlnjewel is offline
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Re: advice for relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kruzer0102 View Post
You are right that shuld focus on my goals... maybe its jus unfortunate that i nvr manage to meet 1 in poly/uni
since you still in school take your time don't rush the girl will show up when you least expect it. And likely when the love comes she is not your ideal type one. Even if never meet any girls in uni is okay you can still meet outside. Think to yourself, there are still so many things that you want to do but havent got a chance to do right. Now single is the best time to do so and when it comes maybe you meet her overseas liao.

Many Kor kors here know how you feel one, i give you one pat on your shoulder, sayang you if you need
  #9  
Old 19-07-2022, 09:20 PM
Kruzer0102 Kruzer0102 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Willamshakspear View Post
It is often difficult to differentiate between love & lust, at any age. But both are only distractions to one's life if one refuses to acknowledge the differences.

If you are at Uni, it would be best to FOCUS on your studies, give 101% effort, get the grades you want. After that, life would be easier for you, when you tamper expectations to wiser levels. The grass always seem greener on the other side, when you see your Uni friends hook up, but you will never see the heartaches, sacrifices & distractions which they will never reveal to you, with some even either going nuts or dropping out of even life. Thus FOCUS on your studies for now, do not be distracted, even as normal hormones rages daily. Develop mental strength instead, as you still will have a long life ahead.

Our females cannot be blamed for being materialistic. Finances are a means to security in life, not just mere words, unlike men in our male dominated societies worldwide. Her looks will be gone when she reaches 40-50yrs old, & if she is not financially strong, she will have to pick card-boxes for a living, unlike men whom are in the 70s with just a few dollars will be able to get a syt.

At the Uni, most relationships are only mere friends. She is intelligent enough to choose the right qualitied man for herself, & it will be someone older & earning a living far more than a mere grad whom is dependent on parents finances. She will also know most grads come from Elite schools, those whom are poor will be leaders of Industry & Politics, or are scions from rich families, & will make her choice accordingly.

Most grads earn a starting pay of between $3,000 to $4,000/mth. That's more than what most young citizens will earn & will take years to reach that level unless they come from rich parents or Uni of Spore Streets. With such salary, you will be able to find any female companion, even kinky ones so long as you don't lose your mind to build up your career & earnings for a comfortable future.

Again, once you start work, the grass will always seem greener on the other side, with many youngsters owning cars, bragging about their lifestyles but the reality that you dont see is that every sucker is born by the minute. Just go to any pub or ktv lounge, & you will see it is different guys & not the same guy that you envied. He would had indebted himself, had his car towed away & eating maggi mee every day after foolishly throwing his money away.

The formula to be rich is to SAVE money and NOT throwing money away. For every dollar you need to spend, you have to ensure you get $3 in return. Anything that does not give you such returns, you best stop & assess the situation before spending hundreds or thousands to later regret.

Thus, i reiterate - FOCUS on your studies for now & get the grades you seek for & do not be DISTRACTED by love & lust which you are not ready to understand yet. It will come naturally when you start to mix around in work life & hobbies & see its realities, & then you can make an informed decision in life for a true companion that will last till you leave Earth, and to eternity, held in memory by those you beget & whom loved you.
Thanks for taking the time and also writing a lengthy write-up for me. Yeah, realistically some girls can be just at most friends at uni, they are smart enough to choose their guys and similarly like hw we guys are smart enough to choose our ladies. Maybe its jus the ppl ard me afterall.
  #10  
Old 19-07-2022, 09:25 PM
Kruzer0102 Kruzer0102 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pearlnjewel View Post
since you still in school take your time don't rush the girl will show up when you least expect it. And likely when the love comes she is not your ideal type one. Even if never meet any girls in uni is okay you can still meet outside. Think to yourself, there are still so many things that you want to do but havent got a chance to do right. Now single is the best time to do so and when it comes maybe you meet her overseas liao.

Many Kor kors here know how you feel one, i give you one pat on your shoulder, sayang you if you need
Maybe didnt manage to meet in poly and also uni Y1. Soon at blink of the eye, out of uni alrdy and in workforce
Well i think like most bros said i shuld FOCUS on my education priorities
  #11  
Old 19-07-2022, 09:31 PM
pearlnjewel pearlnjewel is offline
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Re: advice for relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kruzer0102 View Post
Maybe didnt manage to meet in poly and also uni Y1. Soon at blink of the eye, out of uni alrdy and in workforce
Well i think like most bros said i shuld FOCUS on my education priorities

Just continue to ask girls out when you free, don't put pressure on yourself. When you can't get sex just pcc

Likely you are lusting for girl and sex but you confuse it with relationship
  #12  
Old 20-07-2022, 10:09 AM
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Re: advice for relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by pearlnjewel View Post
Just continue to ask girls out when you free, don't put pressure on yourself. When you can't get sex just pcc

Likely you are lusting for girl and sex but you confuse it with relationship
this quite highly possible
  #13  
Old 20-07-2022, 12:28 PM
Kruzer0102 Kruzer0102 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pearlnjewel View Post

Likely you are lusting for girl and sex but you confuse it with relationship
Being a healthy male at the yr peak age, i ll say 20% lust/ 80% relationship. Of course idw anyhw find 1 jus to satisfy if its legit finding a gf
  #14  
Old 20-07-2022, 01:10 PM
pearlnjewel pearlnjewel is offline
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Re: advice for relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kruzer0102 View Post
Being a healthy male at the yr peak age, i ll say 20% lust/ 80% relationship. Of course idw anyhw find 1 jus to satisfy if its legit finding a gf
I thik you very picky is it when comes to find gf. Thats y you still single. Dont need think so far about marriage just enjoy your NOW time
Shouldnt be a problem if you can find things to do together with the girl and she feels comfortable. Just keep trying with other different girl if one doesnt work out.

You should be able to get to know more girls since many guys are quite passive, me included. No motivation for that and it saps my energy a lot to try chase girls cos i introvert. Going to find freelance girl on other hand gives me a big boost in social energy

Last edited by pearlnjewel; 20-07-2022 at 01:27 PM.
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Old 20-07-2022, 03:54 PM
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Re: advice for relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by pearlnjewel View Post
I thik you very picky is it when comes to find gf. Thats y you still single. Dont need think so far about marriage just enjoy your NOW time
Shouldnt be a problem if you can find things to do together with the girl and she feels comfortable. Just keep trying with other different girl if one doesnt work out.

You should be able to get to know more girls since many guys are quite passive, me included. No motivation for that and it saps my energy a lot to try chase girls cos i introvert. Going to find freelance girl on other hand gives me a big boost in social energy
yes agree with this know more people and dont rush into things like relationships let me come naturally as you meet more people
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