How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?

[JacqueMerlin]

Originally Posted by rix6669

I want uncontest but not sure if she agreeable to everything and she keep thinking she has alot to gain to let judge decide. (Contested).

Can I ask what is court mediator? The person to negotiate on my behalf? I don't think I stand a chance to negotiate with my wife and get her to agree on anything.

1/5 of salary is alright. It wouldn't affect life too much. I believe 1/5 is based on the gross amount ya?

Don't divorce. Tell her you don't want to divorce. Refuse to sign anything. Let her go crazy with her legal bills.

[rix6669]

Originally Posted by JacqueMerlin

Don't divorce. Tell her you don't want to divorce. Refuse to sign anything. Let her go crazy with her legal bills.

Is not about revenge but my own mental health. I'm likely the one who will initial the whole divorce process, not her.

[xiaozhi]

Bro, I went thru the same with you. After ex wife give birth, everything went downhill and must have depression and maybe listen to friend or read too much baby book everything need perfect. My case was lucky as the house was transferred to her and she paid full for it so I got back the money into CPF. I suggest if you have not keep track of the expenses with receipt as proof, should tahan and not sign the divorce paper yet so you should have bargain on the child maintenance fee. Spouse maintenance fee if can is don't pay and pray she remarried fast so she won't go apply court to raise the fee. Child maintenance fee if possible list down all expenses and a trick to it is to limit a cap on it so your soon to ex wife won't suka suka go court and ask for increment. If you need a chat, can pm me. Glad to help a fellow bro

[rix6669]

Seems like wife doesn't want contest. But either 50/50 split, or she keep the house and I give up all my share and I no need pay for anything ever again.

My cpf doesn't have much left because I was trying to clear off my housing loan myself within 15yrs tenure. Seems like backfire on myself for doing this and she stand to gain all my effort.

Giving up my share without monthly alimony may sound good but I gonna take easily 5 to 8 years to build up for a new house deposit again.

Isn't kid alimony a must? I only scared after taking all of this, in future she twist and demand money.

[rix6669]

She another story to share about her friend, ex husband earn only 3k a month, kids maintenance must pay $1200.. is it even possible? After cpf is $2400. Pay half for kid maintenance.

She just keep finding reason I should give her the whole flat and she wouldn't demand anything. She can't even negotiate some cash to give me back. Keep saying she is taking over a big loan.

I will lost over $200k worth of saving for decade of work.

But if I insist to sell the house, at least I get back my cpf, even 50/50 is just nice refund for cpf although still lost quite abit. And pay month for kid maintenance for 20 years. Financially it's more sound.

[sbwow]

It seems to be she purposely did the emotional abuse to lead to divorce.

Why is she so eager to divorce?
- For profit?
- Someone else outside therefore?

When she make a fuss and quarrel, just video the whole thing down infront of her.
See if she quiet it down or not or you can have an advantage in emotional abuse case in court.

According to website from Singapore, https://irblaw.com.sg/learning-centr...-in-singapore/

Punishment for Abusive Family-Members

Someone being domestically abused can apply for a Personal Protection Order (PPO). A PPO is an order that prevents the abuser (i.e. the Respondent) from using violence against the applicant (i.e. the Complainant). The Complainant can apply for a PPO against a family member who is related to him or her in the following ways:

Spouse or former spouse;
Child (adopted child or stepchild);
Parents;
In-laws;
Siblings;
Any relative who the court may regard as a member of your family.

Present the Evidence

The following are examples of witnesses that you may be able to call upon: a friend, family member, children, an emergency room nurse, a doctor, a stranger who saw or heard the commotion, a law enforcement officer…etc.
Evidence to be presented to the Court to support your claim

The evidence that you can present to the Court to substantiate your claim may contain the following:

Testimony in court (from you or your witnesses)
Medical reports of injuries of the abuse
Police reports for when you or a witness called the police,
Dated pictures of your injuries
Anything else that might help convince the judge that you are in that type of relationship.

When a Judge has strong reason to believe that there is domestic violence within the family and that the Complainant needs to be protected, he or she will make a protection order. In the order, the Court may provide for such orders as the Court thinks fit, having regarded all the circumstances of the case, including any one or more of the following orders:

The granting of the right of living alone to the protected person even if the shared home is independently owned or leased by the person against whom the order is made or if the shared home is jointly owned or leased by the parties
Referring the Respondent or the Complainant or the child(ren) to attend counselling
The giving of any direction that is needed for the proper execution of any of the orders

Notably, the Judge may write a provision that the person against whom the order is made (the Respondent) may not incite or assist any other person to commit family violence against the protected person.

[Cowell]

It seems very scary to get married

[donut88]

Originally Posted by rix6669

Seems like wife doesn't want contest. But either 50/50 split, or she keep the house and I give up all my share and I no need pay for anything ever again.

My cpf doesn't have much left because I was trying to clear off my housing loan myself within 15yrs tenure. Seems like backfire on myself for doing this and she stand to gain all my effort.

Giving up my share without monthly alimony may sound good but I gonna take easily 5 to 8 years to build up for a new house deposit again.

Isn't kid alimony a must? I only scared after taking all of this, in future she twist and demand money.

No. U insist to sell the flat. And she find her own place.

Dont be dumb to let her keep or even 50/50.

It's either sell flat, or 70/30.

Child maintenance clause shld be written so that she won't ask for more in future.

[thkse]

Some things are more important than financials.

If your ex-wife is the one raising your children on her own, the best thing you can do for your children's mental health is to support your ex-wife. This includes making sure she and your children have shelter, and enough long term monthly financial support. Be man enough to see your actions through, even if it means giving half of your income monthly. Divorce is the mistake of BOTH parties. Own YOUR mistakes.

When the caregiver suffers, so do the children. This cycle continues with your children and their children.

[playboy82]

Originally Posted by rix6669

She another story to share about her friend, ex husband earn only 3k a month, kids maintenance must pay $1200.. is it even possible? After cpf is $2400. Pay half for kid maintenance.

She just keep finding reason I should give her the whole flat and she wouldn't demand anything. She can't even negotiate some cash to give me back. Keep saying she is taking over a big loan.

I will lost over $200k worth of saving for decade of work.

But if I insist to sell the house, at least I get back my cpf, even 50/50 is just nice refund for cpf although still lost quite abit. And pay month for kid maintenance for 20 years. Financially it's more sound.

my personal view,why don't contest? 50/50 split after selling house. To let her keep the house is totally not fair to u,
1. if u contest, whats the estimated cost? Then u make a decision base on the estimated cost against your 50/50 share, do the math.
2. what is the odds if you contest and can get a bigger share than 50/50 ?
3. say if u contest and you get 70/30 split for selling the house, the gain compare to 50/50 split, is it more than enough to cover the monthly alimony and child maintenance

[handcell]

Every divorce case is different. Now majority is joint custody with care&access to the wife as she need to look after the child unless she give up this right. Find a lawyer whom u feel is comfortable with and can help u along the way. Not one who just want to suck u more financially. Bro, u will go thru’ this 💪💪💪💪

[bignehneh]

Strange. My multi million $ buddy and his ultra rich wife divorced and an intense legal challenge was issued to one another. In the end, my friend didn’t really lose money. He fucking out of the box approach. ��! That is why rich ppl really a lot of pattern whereas typical folks just follow the textbook

Within a year, I attended his wedding again. we are slipping whiskey when he told me he will lose peanuts if he divorce again. ��! Sibei funny…laugh till pengz

[Royara0429]

You got to gaslight her then. Make her believe you will engage a sibeo good lawyer and she would need to pay for high lawyer fees, etc. The money can be better use for eg new house or child’s education.

You will need to attend counseling and also the court mediator will try to negotiate things between both parties before the case is presented to the judge in family court.

Originally Posted by rix6669

I want uncontest but not sure if she agreeable to everything and she keep thinking she has alot to gain to let judge decide. (Contested).

Can I ask what is court mediator? The person to negotiate on my behalf? I don't think I stand a chance to negotiate with my wife and get her to agree on anything.

1/5 of salary is alright. It wouldn't affect life too much. I believe 1/5 is based on the gross amount ya?

[kuaboh]

Originally Posted by rix6669

She wants to keep the house but I not sure how she's gonna come out with the balance loan, and pay me for my share.

If we go 50-50, basically I stand to lost around 70k of what I put in, no cash and everything go back cpf.
And she will gain a 6 digit figure amount.
Have went for my Free first consultant, lawyer is saying this is Abit unfair for me to split half since I have put in financial alot more. Suggest I take 65%, but my wife will definitely refused this percentage. She claim her lawyer say under womans charter, when divorce she will get the house. No need pay me. Smlj. She seems confident to claim alot because she got a friend gain $200k over a divorce for a 2 or 3 yrs marriage. All these stupid rare story.

I just thinking how NOT to end up in contest divorce, stupidly pay $15000 onwards for this. Wife can be stubborn as she believe she deserve ALOT because of her wasted youth.

To be honest, im pretty sure some women use divorce as a means to make money / smoke thru life without doing any shyt useful in life.

I'm a 过来人。Im aware there are private chat groups among such women to learn / share / devise ways to suck the soul out of their spouses.
I've heard alot of common claims / statements, almost feels like a bloody SOP someone wrote in a bid to equip such women with methods to scare / threaten their spouses.

[kuaboh]

Originally Posted by rix6669

Seems like wife doesn't want contest. But either 50/50 split, or she keep the house and I give up all my share and I no need pay for anything ever again.

My cpf doesn't have much left because I was trying to clear off my housing loan myself within 15yrs tenure. Seems like backfire on myself for doing this and she stand to gain all my effort.

Giving up my share without monthly alimony may sound good but I gonna take easily 5 to 8 years to build up for a new house deposit again.

Isn't kid alimony a must? I only scared after taking all of this, in future she twist and demand money.

As the child grows older, she could potentially open up ways to emotional blackmail you into paying for the child's expenses. Come on, surely you don't expect any less from her? It's very clear she wants money money money.

Emo blackmail can include not letting u see the child or saying stuff like, kid suddenly so and so need see specialist.